yamanai ame da neeee

Thursday, April 29, 2010

omg screwed up today's paper. ughhhhhhhhh.
i shldn't have let myself fall sick ):

6:41 PM

どこまでも :))
Saturday, April 24, 2010

eito eito eito :D
ok i just finished a traumatic exam but theres no time to waste. more papers coming!
anw, why is kanjani so cute WHY WHY WHY?
hahah they're the best singers in je already (ok and tokio), they have the most unique brand of humour, they are the most ossan about things, the most un-idolish, and the group with the biggest 'gap'.
hahahah ガップ萌えか？ ok thats lyrics but omg i really get it when people say its the gap because who in je can compare to their sudden change from ossans to talents during concerts?
aiyoh more people need to know about them because they are missing outtttttt XD
my mind is still blown away by yasu and baru's desire, tatsu and ryo's torn etc etc etc.
and omg how come ohkura's voice improved SO much in the span of a few months? its shocking.
he has such great control over his voice which already had a nice quality to it before.
and they play SEAMLESSLY as a band and never ever go out of tune during concerts (and its all live!! no synching even when they dance), they write their owns songs also. yay thats what im most proud of. they are japanese mayday. hahah.

love eito <3

1:32 PM

cant wait for exams to be over. i feel so roughed out from this sem :/
i need my holidays!!! (which will come only in july. but yay nevertheless. funder's third law. something is better than nothing.)

first paper is tml. omg. k i will try my best.
ng liting. try your best thank you very much.
because i've been feeling so underappreciated abt certain stuff........
i shall......... appreciate myself first.
お疲れ様、おおきに！:)
明日はがんばろう！毎日毎日も！
試験おわったら、遊ぶことができる！！今できないよ！

12:59 AM

mayday :)
Monday, April 19, 2010

so i went for their concert. hahah dont regret even tho it is exams period.

k so now i'm going thru a mayday craze as always.
haha i was so obsessed i put them on my desktop. k you cant see it but you can click to enlarge!

back to studyinggggggg

10:21 PM

Sunday, April 18, 2010

i'm very disturbed by my dad's judgemental statements about my personality and way of doing things. and it disturbs me because.. i want to believe its not true. and yet, he is my father. there must be some truth?

but then again, haha he's made some serious mistakes regarding judgement with my other siblings too. and that i can be more objective about. ahhh my dad is gna become a stubborn old man in the near future. today he was insisting that he looks fine without shaving cause tay ping hui also looks pretty handsome with a mustache :/
anyone can see how subjective he is being. hahahahahaha

10:48 PM

bullshit. omg im so angry!!!!!!!
Saturday, April 10, 2010

what is 'women's things' in the house.
wahhhhhhhh what is it i ask you?
so if you wanna put a label called 'women's things,' does it mean that i can also put a label called 'men's things'? does that excuse me from touching those things?
wtf my dad really pisses me off sometimes.
he and his ridiculous and absolutely STUPID chauvinistic ideas.

i don't know who i can tell this to so i shall rant here.
during my parent's trip to langkawi last week, my brother DID NOT LIFT A SINGLE FINGER to help me in the house work.
i cleaned the whole house, i settled all the clothes. and I COOKED MEALS FOR HIM.
is my brother some kind of ceo of a company and has no time for himself or anything else? no.
is he doing anything important? no.
is his girlfriend really SOOOO important? no. but obviously, he wont agree with that.
so, he was playing COMPUTER GAMES DAMNIT. stupid fella. he is so useless. i can't properly articulate how useless he is. what contributions does he make to the family?! i don't know.

well ok, its ok that he's useless i've long accepted that.
but the fact that my dad is ok with it is what is so strange.
WHO IN THIS WORLD IS OK WITH HIS SON BEING USELESS?

we've had this conversation about a million times and always. always, its the same thing.
me: he never does anything
dad: he never do you do loh. why must go and be so petty about such stuff?
me: so you're ok with the fact that he let his little sister take care of him? you're ok with the fact that all he does is sit in the room and play computer while his sister, who is the one who has work to do, does all the work for him? you're ok with his uselessness?
dad: did you tell him you need help or not...
me: THATS NOT THE PT. WHYYYY do i need to tell him anything? its not like he doesnt know it has to be done, he just chooses not to do it, because he grew up knowing that things will be done for him just as long as he waits long enough. and its you people who inculcated such thinking in him.
dad: girl you must understand, some things are women's things... why must you be so extreme in your thinking?
me: so what is men's things? providing for the family? then why is it i have to study and get a job, why does mama have to work? two of us and jie also can stay at hm and fold the clothes all day la.
dad: girl ah its because you are still young thats why you have such extreme thinking..

OH. MY. GOD. this is the ultimate. this is the time thoughts like I HATE MEN. I HATE MY FATHER. SDAKFNSLJKFNDSKGF *MANY MANY VULGARITIES* run through my head. WOMEN'S THINGS. why is there still such a thing when both men and women go out into the society and are now capable of the same things in the coporate world? why is a 'women's thing' retained as it is? omg. i don't know. and sometimes i want to laugh at him because next time when my brother gets married and his wife has to suffer, i can say without having to give evidence, that it is my father's fault. it is. there's no arguing that.

and there's one more thing.. you know, funny enough i can live with my brother being a retard cause i'm so used to it already. humans are so adaptable its amusing. but nevermind.
i went been back to my granny's house a few times when they were in malaysia cause she's alone with the maid and my grandpa.
and on friday, when i went back my grandma was like asking me not to go hm and stay for the night. omg she made me want to cry and i felt so bad for going home.
so i went back and related this to my brother, and guess what. he never once went back there despite having nothing to do at nights. ok he rather go out with his girlfriend loh. and yah, his game is more important then his grandmother. i have nothing to say.
now he's not only useless, he has no conscience. im damn disappointed.
he's made me angry alot of times, but he's never made me feel disappointed before (maybe cause i've never pinned any hopes on him, but lets not talk abt that.)
and my parents used to say, oh we can rely on gor when we are old.
bullshit. you can try if you want to. i don't give a shit what you guys think anymore.

1:45 PM